Trauma Button A Paradox Live Fansite
Stage Battle "PRIDE" - Part 2
[sfx: door opening]
Anne: [sigh]
Allen: How'd it go?
Anne: Nothing doing. No matter what I say, he's not coming out.
Allen: Ah... I... I don't think I've ever seen Hajun get that upset.
Anne: Yeah... it's really surprising for him to show that much emotion and get that mad...
Allen: He's... I wonder how he's doing right now?
Anne: Wish I knew... but there's not much we can do but let him take his space, yeah?
Allen: ... no, I don't think so. I'm gonna go and try to talk to him again.
Anne: Wh-- if you're going, I'm going too!
[sfx: footsteps, knocking]
Allen: Hajun? I know you can hear me. You don't have to open the door. So just... listen to me like this, okay?
Hajun: [until further notice, muffled behind a door] You're very stubborn. I'll come out on my own when I've calmed down. Don't worry, I'll be smiling like usual again soon. So kindly leave me alone.
Allen: If you say that, then it means you're not smiling now! Right?
Hajun: And what of it? Even I get upset sometimes.
Allen: That's not what I mean...! ... it's really frustrating. When you shoved him away, I thought, wow, Hajun's really mad. ... I'd never seen you look like that before. You've never looked like that in front of me or Anne.
Anne: Mm...
Allen: And I was thinking... it's really frustrating, but... I think what Compla Daimaou said was right. We haven't really confronted that side of each other. We've only been looking at the convenient surface level...
Hajun: ...
Allen: ... so right now, I'm mostly just mad at myself. I've been with you all this time, we've done hip hop together, but I... I haven't tried to see the real you. So... [deep breath] ... deep inside my ear, I can hear the sound of a record breaking in half. And flames. And everything in front of me burns red.
Anne: ... Allen?
Allen: My trap reaction, I mean... that's... that's how mine starts.
Anne: ... trap reactions? But, Allen, you don't have to--
Allen: It's fine. I want you guys to hear it. ... you know about my family, right? Both of my parents are classical musicians. They absolutely refuse to acknowledge hip hop as music. And I knew that... so I listened to hip hop in secret. But I got too absorbed in it, and...

[sfx: the sound of records breaking]
Allen's Mother: Hip hop. How could you say such a vulgar thing. Where did you even learn it from?
Allen's Mother: Stop listening to such worthless music. You'll taint your ears like that.
Allen: Stop! Don't burn it!!! Please! You can do anything but that!!
Allen's Mother: Allen, you're so talented. If you just listen to your mother and father, you could even become a world-class musician!
Allen's Father: That's why we had you. Not to let you listen to garbage music like this.
Allen: Please... I finally... I finally understand that the music I want to do is hip hop...! So... [screams]
Allen's Mother and Father: [repeating, echoing] You're mistaken.
Allen: [screaming]

Allen: They burned it all. The records I had collected one at a time... all of the equipment that I had to save up my pocket money to buy... they wouldn't let me leave the house for days. They denied me my music... no... they denied who I was. After that... Hajun, you already know this part, right?
Anne: Hey, how unfair. I haven't heard any of this before.
Allen: I broke out of the house arrest they were keeping me under, and I came here. I never expected I'd keep staying here, though.
Anne: So that's how it happened...
Allen: ... so that's my trauma. That's what I see when I have my trap reaction. Isn't it pathetic? To have to keep reliving and reliving the day that my parents burned my things? It's so childish.
Anne: No, it isn't! ... it isn't. [sigh] ... mine starts with the sound of scissors.

[sfx: scissors clipping]
Anne's Mother: Look how nicely you turned out!
Anne: [crying]
Anne's Mother: Long hair looks just terrible on you, doesn't it, Anjin? You're a boy, after all. Short hair suits you much better.
Anne: ... but I--!
Anne's Mother: Anjin!
Anne: ...!
Anne's Mother: When your father left, you made a promise to him, remember? That you'd be your mama's little prince from then on.
Anne: ... yeah...
Anne's Mother: Isn't that right? That's right! Anjin, I love you! Anjin...! I want to be able to keep loving you, Anjin. That's why you have to be Mama's prince forever, Anjin...
Anne: Y-yeah... I will... I'm mama's prince, after all... I want mama to love me... [hic, crying softly]

Anne: ... heh. That's what you'd call a toxic parent, huh? But... ... I couldn't run away from her. Even now. I think there's a part of me that still wants to be my mother's prince, somewhere deep down inside my heart. I want to love and be loved.
Allen: ...
Anne: But it couldn't go on that way. One of us had to be the first to blink. I knew that. So I was the one who left. ... heh. And that's the story of my trap reaction! For real... isn't that pathetic? Even now I can't be completely independent from my mother.
Allen: Anne...
Anne: It's fine. I figured I'd have to talk about it eventually. Honestly... I feel kind of relieved that I can talk about it honestly now.
Hajun: I was told I wasn't needed.[1]
Allen: Ah? Hajun, did you say somethi--?
Hajun: [louder] I was told I wasn't needed.
Allen: Isn't that... what Compla Daimaou sai--?
Hajun: Yes. That's how mine starts.
Anne: Starts... you mean your...?
Hajun: My trap reaction.
Anne and Allen: ...!
Hajun: You guys already know that I'm the son of the head of the Yeon Conglomerate, don't you?
Allen: Right.
Hajun: However, I'm... adopted[2]. When I was a child, I was brought into that house to be an heir to the family.
Anne: Hajun... You don't have to force yourself to say anything if it's too painful to--
Hajun: ... my parents were probably decent people. They raised me as they would a real son, even though I wasn't truly theirs. They may have even loved me. To a certain extent. ... but then they had a son.

[sfx: baby crying]
Hajun's Father: Hajun. You'll be going to Japan.
Hajun: Huh...?
Hajun's Mother: Japan is a valuable business partner for the Yeon Conglomerate. This is a good opportunity for you to master Japanese.
Hajun: ... but, I...
Hajun's Father: Do you not understand?
Hajun: ... huh?
Hajun's Mother: Hajun, this means you will not be necessary in this house anymore.
Hajun: ... huh...?
Hajun's Mother: It's of utmost important that the heir to the Yeon Conglomerate is related by blood. To be related by blood to the Yeon family is to be respectable and acknowledged.
Hajun's Father: And it seems that God has seen fit to bless us with a son. You're a smart boy. You understand what this means, don't you?
Hajun: Then... I...
Hajun's Father: That's correct, Hajun. You will no longer be needed.
[sfx: "no longer be needed" echoing]

Hajun: "No longer needed"... my trap reaction makes me remember the day that my parents told me that I would no longer be needed. Over and over. The day I was abandoned like a mangy dog.
Allen: Is that why...
Hajun: Yes. I lost my composure. It's just as that guy from The Cat's Whiskers said. I'm scared... of not being wanted anymore.
Anne and Allen: ...!
That's why I don't make any serious connections with anyone. All the more if it's somebody I hold dear. I'll just put a smile on my face and avoid showing my real self. ... because it's scary. It's terrifying. I'm unneeded, after all. If I dare to believe in somebody, dare to love them, and then get betrayed again... if I get thrown away again... I won't be able to bear it. When that happens again, I--
[sfx: Allen banging a fist on the door]
Allen: Don't be an idiot! Hajun! You're not unwanted!
Hajun: ...!
Allen: No matter what anybody says, you're not unwanted! And I'll never betray you like that, Hajun! I won't throw you away! ... [shuddering breath] ... Hajun... do you remember? The day when I stumbled my way here.
Hajun: ... mm.
Allen: Even though I was practically in pieces, you let me stay here without asking anything from me in return, didn't you? I had been keeping it all a secret from my parents, and at school... and then you just said, "that's fine".
Hajun: ...!
Allen: The rap I had been muttering to myself, hardly even real music yet... and you said it was nice. I understood, then. I still had myself. I thought I had lost everything, but I still had myself. Even if my things had been broken or burnt... that was something that nobody could take away from me. That sound inside of me was something that nobody could silence. The person who saved that "me"... that was you, Hajun! The fact that I was able to save myself... the fact that I'm able to do hip hop now... that's because of you! Hajun!
Hajun: ...
Allen: I had been denied over and over. I had been told that I was worthless. I had been broken and burnt... and you looked at me in pieces and said "that's fine"! You accepted me. You asked to do hip hop with me. What kind of jackass would throw someone that important away!?
Hajun: ... ... you're so stupid.
Allen: ... huh?
Hajun: You don't have to get so fired up about it. It's embarrassing.
Allen: 'Embarrassing'... [laughs]
Hajun: Are you crying?
Allen: Shut up, no I'm not...
Anne: Haha... he's totally crying. Like, a lot.
Allen: Shut up, you're lying! Look, I'm just--
Anne: Yeah, yeah, it's just the sweat of your heart, yeah?
Allen: Yeah. It's heart sweat!
Hajun: ... heh... come on... [sniff] If you're gonna be the first one to cry...
[sfx: door starting to open]
Anne and Allen: Hajun...!
Hajun: What a pain. If you guys are going to block the door, then I very well can't open it, can I?
Allen: Ah...!
[sfx: Allen and Anne stepping away]
Anne: Hajun...?
Hajun: ... I'm quite alright. I apologize for making you worry.
Anne: No... thanks, Hajun.
Hajun: Hm? Why would you be thanking me?
Anne: Because I'm happy... to get a chance to see the real you.
Hajun: ... Anne...
[sfx: stomach growling]
Allen: Ah... now that I'm not so amped up, suddenly I'm hungry...
Anne: Then shall we go get food somewhere?
Allen: Let's do Raimentei! I want char siu ramen with double char siu! Since Hajun will be paying, of course!
Hajun: I will? Why am I being volunteered?
Anne: Then I'll be having a tenshin-don! And bottomless draft beer!
Hajun: Hold on--
Allen: Come on, let's go!
Anne: Ah, hold on, I need to touch up my makeup.
Allen: I don't know why you're worried about something like that? It looks fine.
Anne: What do you mean 'something like that'?
Hajun: ... you guys, seriously... <Thank you>.
Allen: What was that?
Hajun: Nothing. I suppose I'm not getting out of it. Today is my treat. Shall we?
Anne: No meal like a free meal! [laughing]


[sfx: knock at door]
Anne: Yes? Come in.
[sfx: door opening]
Saimon: Hello. Pardon the intrusion.
Anne: Saimon-sensei! And everyone else in tow, too.
Ryu: Heyo! It's Ryu-kun!
Shiki: P-pardon me...
Yohei: We came to return the favor from last time. What was it? Call it scouting out the movements of our enemy.
Allen: Enemies...?
Saimon: Just a joke. We have no intention of treating you as our enemies. But we cannot deny that you have piqued our interest. And, of course, there's that matter from the last time...
Allen: Ah, if it's about that, then--
Hajun: Well? How was it? Our trend-chasing child's playtime pretending to be cutting edge?
Yohei: You really are anglin' for a fight, aren't you...
Anne: But I would like to hear as well. Please, give us your honest thoughts.
Saimon: Come on, Yohei.
Yohei: ... I retract my previous statements. Sorry for talkin' shit.
Allen: Huh?
Yohei: You guys' sound today had heart. Somethin' solid. I could feel your pride as rappers... no, as a team. It's different from ours, but I'll acknowledge it. Good job.
Anne and Allen: ...!
Yohei: You, especially. 48, was it?
Hajun: Correct.
Yohei: How do I put this... seems like you're comin' out of your shell.
Hajun: Hm. I owe it all to you.
Saimon: It's certainly building my anticipation for our battle with all of you. Mind you, we have no intentions of losing. We're putting our pride on the line to do our own hip hop.
Yohei: We ain't gonna let you call us old-fashioned.
Shiki: I-I'll do my best, as well.
Ryu: Hmm? Hey, Mister Mushroom, you...
Hajun: ...?
Ryu: You came out of your packaging, didn't you? But you gotta hurry. After all... you don't have a lot of time left.
Hajun: ...
Ryu: Hey-hey! Boss! Master! Ryu-kun's feeling good today! Let's hit the floor~!
Yohei: Our job here's done. Let's go home.
Saimon: I have class tomorrow as well.
Ryu: Whaaat!? How laaame! Shikki, this is your fault!!
Shiki: W-what did I do?!
Allen: Hajun, are you okay?
Anne: If he said something weird to you again, I'll beat his ass this time!
Hajun: [laughs] No. Nothing at all. You guys worry far too much.
Allen: Hey--!
Anne: Come on!
Hajun: Shall we go home? Allen, if you loiter, your metal might get stolen again.
Allen: You still haven't let that go? You're awful...!
Anne: I expect no less from our sadistic smiling prince!
Hajun: Oh? Shall we go, then, Anjin?
Anne: Hey! I told you not to use that name!
Allen: Looks like we're going to have to add 'poison-tongued' to the 'sadistic smiling prince'.
Anne: No kidding!
Allen: So, what, now it's "poison-tongued sadistic smiling prince"?
Anne: Why do we keep calling him a prince?
Hajun: ... if I'm with you guys, then, maybe...

[1] As I said in part 1: 要らない can be either "unneeded" or "unwanted", which is why I had Ryu say "nobody will want you anymore" but am using "unneeded" here, because it's the same word in Japanese. Got it? Got it. Considering that they're supposed to be canonically speaking Korean here anyway, I say this kind of fuzziness is fair game.
[2] So, a tangent goes here. With current developments and the introduction of Dongha, Hajun's story here has gotten kind of muddled; officially, he's Dongha's half-brother with a shared father, and is implied to be a bastard child. I realize I'm doing some fan conjecture here, and that this is probably just a straight-up retcon; but I think it makes the most sense if you assume he's just telling half-truths, either because he's just generally a liar, or because it's better for the "official story" to be that he's adopted because him being a bastard would be bad for PR. For that reason, I'm nudging things a little to help smooth that gap over. If canon ever clears up this contradiction, I'll come back and edit this.

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