[sfx: keyboard typing]
Iori: Well. With sales like this, we should be doing well this month. ... If only everything goes this well... Those guys're the enemy, after all. They're not going to give themselves away that easily. Wonder what I ought to do. ... guess I'm not gonna accomplish much by asking a maneki-neko[1], though, huh? [sigh]
[sfx: knocking]
Zen: Waka! Pardon my intrusion.
Iori: Ah, Zen. Good job out there.
Zen: Is something the matter, Waka? You're holding the maneki-neko.
Iori: Just consulting about some life matters with Mister Kitty. [laughs]
[sfx: setting the maneki-neko down]
Zen: Ahaha. What's up with that? But anyway! Here are today's sales reports.
Iori: Ah, much obliged.
Zen: Please take a look! We're doing great!
Iori: I'm sure we are.
Zen: Once again, Anne-kun's been a shining exemplar in both sales and in being requested by patrons!
Iori: Ah, how nice.
Zen: More than that, it's a record high for CANDY!
Iori: Is it now?
Zen: Waka! This is great news! Aren't you at least surprised?
Iori: Ah? [laughs] Anne-chan certainly is a hard worker, huh? I'm very impressed.
Zen: ... waka... are you not feeling well, by any chance?
Iori: Oh, not at all. It's nothin' like that. I was just caught up in my thoughts, that's all.
Zen: If you think I would be of any use, please feel free to talk to me at any time. I may be able to be of help, even if only a little.
Iori: Ah... [sniff] Well, y'got a point. Shall I spill, then? ... ah. But before that, will you kindly lock the door? This is somethin' that the kids don't need to go hearing.
Zen: Y-yes! Understood.
[sfx: Zen locking the door then returning]
Zen: So then, Waka... what is it that you've been thinking about?
Iori: Zen. The Paradox Live. What do you think about it?
Zen: Yes! It seems to be a very fair and square earnest battle! I'll definitely help to prove that we, Akan Yatsura, are number one!
Iori: [laughs] That's all well and good and good spirited, but... that's not what I'm talkin' about. I mean somethin' about it smells fishy to me.
Zen: ... I'm sorry... but I don't follow.
Iori: Truth is, I think that behind the scenes... the Alter Trigger company might be involved in this tournament.
Zen: Alter Trigger Company, you said?
Iori: Yeah. Y'probably already know, they might or might not be the people who orchestrated the raid on us. I think they're the one who conspired behind the scenes--
Zen: [standing up] If that's true, then--! Then we have to launch a counterattack right now! For the old man-- for all of our dead comrades... we have to avenge them!
Iori: Calm down, Zen. I understand how you feel. But it's not the right time for that.
Zen: [getting emotional] But--
Iori: I said calm down. I don't have any concrete evidence yet, so it's still all conjecture. If we're going to kill them, we need to be sure.
Zen: ... yes.
Iori: We'll play dumb, win the competition, and get in close to the organizers. We have to play it safe for now. If we launched a raid now, then--
[sfx: locked door handle jiggling]
Hokusai: [from outside] Locked.
Reo: [from outside] Aw, you're right. Hey, Aniki~! Is something wrong?
Iori: Zen. As far as they're concerned, we didn't have this conversation.
Satsuki: [from outside] Oi! Aniki! Aniki!
Zen: ... right.
Iori: What's up, what's up? You guys sure are bein' real noisy~! I'm comin' to open the door now, stop makin' a racket!
[sfx: door being unlocked]
Reo: Hehe. ... huh? Zen-nii, you're here, too?
Satsuki: Aniki! We finished cleaning up the club!
Reo: Ah! You beat me to the punch of reporting...!
Hokusai: We made the club... squeaky clean.
Iori: Oh! Good job, you three. You guys're a huge help. Shall we close up and go on home, then?
Reo: Alright~!
Satsuki: What'd you lock the door for, though, Aniki?
Reo: Aaah~ This is why kids are a handful. They were just talking about important club stuff, obviously!
Satsuki: The fuck you say, you little shit? Who are you callin' a kid?
Reo: I don't see any other children here aside from you, Satsuki-chan!
Satsuki: How many times do I gotta tell you to drop it with the -chan shit!?
Reo: Ahaha! He's mad, he's ma~d!
Satsuki: Oi!! Stop right there!
Zen: Oi! Don't fight in front of Waka!
Reo: What's the matter, can't catch me?
Satsuki: You bastard! I'm gonna wring your throat or-- uwah!
[sfx: thud]
Iori: Whoa!
Hokusai: Satsuki. You okay?
Reo: I'm sorry, Aniki... did the maneki-neko break...? Is it alright...?
Hokusai: Is Satsuki alright, too?
Satsuki: Uh... yeah, I'm all good. Um... I'm really sorry!
Iori: No harm, no foul. Don't seem like it's got any cracks.
Zen: Satsuki-kun! Reo-kun! Why are the two of you always, always like this! Aren't you ever going to learn!?
Satsuki: ... fine.
Zen: What was that, Satsuki-kun? Is there something you wanted to say?
Iori: ... cats, huh...
Satsuki: Nothing, sir...
Zen: Reo-kun! I'm talking to you as well!
Iori: I wonder if he might know somethin'...
Reo: Fiiiine.
Zen: The point is! Reflect on what you've done! Do you understand?
Satsuki and Reo: Got it...
[sfx: Iori sets the maneki-neko down]
Iori: Well, then. Nobody got hurt, so how 'bout we call it a wash?
Zen: No, we can't do that! The two of you! Apologize properly to Waka one more time!
Satsuki and Reo: Aniki, sorry...
Iori: Ah, come on~... I hate it when the atmosphere's all gloomy at the end of the day. Ah! Oh, yeah! How about to lighten the mood, we take a little outing?
Satsuki: For real!? I wanna go!
Reo: Me too!
Hokusai: If everyone is going, I want to come...
Iori: Zen. You'll be coming, too, of course?
Zen: ... [laughs] If you're going to twist my arm. Understood. I'll come as well.
Reo: [distant] Yay~! Night out~!
Satsuki: Yo!
[sfx: ringing of shop door opening]
Satsuki: We're coming in!
Shiki: Welco-- ah...!
Ryu: Beep-beep-beep! Ptchoo, ptchoo! Enemy attack! An entire wave of them!
Yohei: Tch. So it's you lot, huh? Sorry. We're closed. Go somewhere else.
Iori: Oh, how cold! Couldn't you at least give us one drink? Hm? Danna?
Shiki: W-why... are the guys from Akan Yatsura...?
Saimon: Shiki. Please stand back.
Yohei: You rat bastard...
[sfx: footsteps crossing the room]
Yohei: ... heh. It's been a hot minute, hasn't it?
Iori: Ahahaha! Danna! You been keepin' healthy? [laugh] Look at you, becomin' a whole-ass barmaster! Haha! We came by to pay our respects to 'ya before we battle!
[sfx: Iori slapping Yohei on the back]
Yohei: Oi! Knock that off!
Hokusai: Ah... Ryu.
Ryu: Oh? ... what's this? I feel like I've seen you guys around somewhere~ Um... ah! I know! Monkey, Pheasant, and Dog![2]
Satsuki: This ain't Momotaro! And I'm not a monkey! Don't look down on me!
Hokusai: [laugh] Ryu. You haven't changed.
Yohei: Ryu. You can leave the cleaning. Just go bring in the signboard.
Ryu: Roger! Hey, hey, everyone outta the way~! Ryu-kun's coming through! Vrrrrroom! Vroomvroomvroom!
Zen: Ah!
Ryu: Outta the waaay~!
Zen: Haha! He's got a lot of energy!
Reo: So? Can we come in or what?
Saimon: Yes. Of course. You've come all this way to greet us; there's no way we'll turn you away at the door.
Ryu: Welcome, esteemed guests~ Welcome to Bar 4/7.
Shiki: P-please take a seat at the counter.
Zen: Well! I'll have a lemon sour, please.
Yohei: Got it. And Iori, it'll be a gimlet for you, yeah?
[sfx: drink making]
Iori: Thank you kindly.
[sfx: Iori drinking]
Iori: Ahaha! No doubt, if I'm gonna drink, it's this or nothin'! Ah, yeah. Please serve somethin' up for the boys, too.
Reo: Ah! Then I want a pudding a la mode!
Yohei: What do you think we serve here?
Reo: Aw, no? Then give me a tapioca milk tea!
Yohei: [sigh]
Satsuki: Uh, I'll have... uh, that! Bourbon. Yeah.
Shiki: H-huh? But...
Satsuki: What? You got a problem!?
Shiki: Ah... uh...
[sfx: Zen grunting, thwack]
Satsuki: Ow! That hurts!
Zen: Don't get ahead of yourself! You can drink once you turn 20. He'll take something nonalcoholic.
Satsuki: Tch... fine!
Ryu: How 'bout kibi-dango[3]?
Satsuki: I already said this ain't Momotaro!
Ryu: But that'd come with the perk of becoming Ryu-kun's servant~!
Satsuki: That's all the more reason not to!!
Ryu: Then how about Fuu-chan[4]?
Hokusai: Mm. Anything is fine.
Ryu: Anything!? In that case, it's time for Charismatic Bartender Ryu-kun's Special Drink! And awa~y we go!
[sfx: Ryu mixing a drink]
Ryu: A drink to make you real hyped up! You'll have no choice but to drain your cup! Soda and coffee and tobasco, too, and matcha to make it green like Fuu~![5] Ryu-kun's Special Drink for Fuu-chan: served up with Eau de Gutter.
[sfx: glass being put down]
Hokusai: Thank you very much.
[sfx: Hokusai drinking the entire thing in one go, setting down the glass]
Hokusai: It's terrible. But thank you for making your best effort. Good job, Ryu. You get headpats[6].
Ryu: Right? Ryu-kun's a genius! My own talent scares me~!
Yohei: Geez... how'd he manage to make something like that?
Saimon: Hahaha. Good question.
Satsuki: Ahh... I'm kinda hungry. Hey, old man! You got anything to eat around here?
Yohei: Hah? Again, the hell kind of place you think I'm running?
Iori: Ah, then, Satsuki. How about I give you a bit of pocket money? Go get some ramen or somethin' with everyone.
Satsuki: Ah? For real!?
Iori: Yep! Raimentei should probably still be open.
Ryu: How nice~ Ryu-kun wants to eat, too! With lots and lots and lots of garlic and hold the noodles~!
Iori: Is that so? How about you go with them? You can take shorty with you too.
Ryu: Yaaaay! Yayayayay! Ramen time! He said you could come, too, Shikki!
Shiki: But, um... I don't want to be a burden...
Reo: You're coming, right, Ando-kun?
Hokusai: We can all go together.
Satsuki: Huh? What's up with you guys? How do you know his name?
Reo: Hah? He goes to the same school as we do!
Satsuki: --! What, really!?
Hokusai: Mmhm. We're part-time students, but Ando-kun is full-time.[7]
Shiki: Th-that's correct. We go to the same school... um, more or less.
Reo: We pass by him all the time when we're on the way to school. Do you not notice, Satsuki?
Satsuki: ... hm... huh... ... Ando, what are you acting all withdrawn for, you bastard? Are you lookin' down on us? Thinkin' that you don't want to eat with a bunch of part-time students? Huh?
Shiki: A-ah! I... I didn't mean...
Iori: Satsuki!
Satsuki: W-what'd I do!?
Iori: Don't go out of your way to pick fights you don't gotta. Make nice and get goin'!
Satsuki: Eh? ... fine.
Saimon: Sorry for having you take care of our children as well.
Iori: Ah, s'nothin at all. S'alright to do it every now and then.
Reo: Ehehehe. Well! Let's go, then! Thanks, aniki!
Saimon: Take care, everyone.
[sfx: door opening, bell ringing, as the kids all leave]
Ryu: Misters Happy and Macho, arigacho, thank you very much-o!
Iori: Now when he says 'Happy'... he talkin' about me?
Zen: Macho... hm... [thoughtful pause] ... I like it.
Iori: ... Zen.
Yohei: [sighs] S'finally quiet.
Iori: No, but color me real surprised! I knew you were keepin' busy after parting ways with the family, but you really have gone way softer than I'd'a thought!
Yohei: Heh. Even I had to grow up eventually.
Saimon: [chuckles] It wouldn't be a bad thing if you got even softer.
Yohei: Shut it. Don't say crap like that.
Zen: Ah-- excuse me, Kanbayashi-san. May I get another drink?
Yohei: Sure thing. You want something different?
Zen: Well, since we're here... something low in sugar, please.
Yohei: If that's the case... tequila, gin, or brandy, then?
Zen: ...? Hm? This maneki-neko on the counter... it looks quite like the one that Waka has.
Iori: Oh, that old thing? Heh. It ain't "like" it. They're identical.
Zen: ... is that so? Why do you have the same one?
[sfx: Yohei lighting up a cigarette, taking a drag]
Yohei: This maneki-neko was given to me by the old man.
Saimon: 'Old man'? Who do you mean by that?
Yohei: The old man was... the head of the group that that took me in, the Suiseki.
Iori: There was a time when danna and I worked together as partners, ya know.
Yohei: Yeah. Back when we were working the cabaret club as bouncers.
[flashback begins]
[sfx: crowd talking, the piano intro from Faith]
Iori[8]: What's up? Didn't think piano was really your style. Something gotten into you lately?
Yohei: Haha. Just thought I'd give it a shot. Seems I've got a knack for it.
Iori: Who'd you hear something like that from?
Man from Alter Trigger: [in background] I'll order another champagne tower.
Club Girls: [in background] Really~? Yay~! Another tower~! You're the best~!
Man from Alter Trigger: Let's have at it!
Iori: My, my. Seems like that fella's being really over the top today. He keeps ordering all the really expensive stuff. To borrow a phrase from the old man, we'd say he's certainly in high spirits, yeah?
Yohei: Mm? Ah. It's those guys from the Alter Trigger company.
Iori: Seriously. Seems they never get bored of coming by. Well. Guess it works out for us, though.
[sfx: glass breaking]
Club Girls: [in background] Huh? What's going on?
Iori: Hm?
Man 1: [in background] Oi! Stop fuckin' around! Seriously, the fuck's up with this club?
Man 2: What's with the shit service? Who's running this fuckin' place!?
Yohei: He with some other party?
Iori: Don't matter. The Alter Trigger guys are havin' a good time.
Club Girls: [in background] Hey, what's wrong? Everyone just calm down--!
Iori: We gotta do somethin' before we start getting complaints.
[sfx: Fire alarm going off]
Club Girls: [in background] Wha--?
Iori: Esteemed customers! A small fire has started in the kitchen just now! Please follow the guidance of our staff and evacuate immediately! Everyone in the cast, hang back so you can guide the clientele.
Yohei: Over this way! Please remain calm.
Man 1: Oi, bastards, what's the fucking deal with all this?
Iori: Sir, you can just stay put where you are.
Man 1: Stop fucking... around...
[sfx: fire alarm in bg fading out]
Iori: Got it?
Man 1 and Man 2: ...
Yohei: Oi, Iori. Everyone else has cleared out.
Iori: Much obliged, danna. So, then, looks to me like we're the only ones here.
Yohei: So. You two. What is it you're aiming to do here, by causing trouble?
Iori and Yohei: Please, let's hear it.
[1] Those beckoning cat statues, meant to attract customers and good fortune. [Back]
[2] Famous folk story; the eponymous main character's traveling companions are a dog, a pheasant, and a monkey. (Side note: If you wanted a localization for this line, I'd say you could go with "scarecrow, tin man, and lion" and Satsuki getting annoyed about being called brainless, but that's neither here nor there.) [Back]
[3] Millet dumplings iconic for their appearance as the rations of Momotaro and company. [Back]
[4] Ryu often calls Hokusai this, presumably because of his MC name being Fuurai Boy. [Back]
[5] This is a very loose/non-literal translation meant to convey the lyrical nature rather than the literal wording, though I tried my best. [Back]
[6] Yoshi-yoshi, or what you say when you're petting something, has no real equivalent in English unfortunately. [Back]
[7] Basically, the Akan Yatsura kids attend high school in the evenings; this is an option for people who want a high school diploma but for whatever reason can't attend a normal schedule, such as having a job during the day. (This is also why Hokusai is still a high school student despite being 24.) Shiki being full-time means that he attends school on a regular schedule, IE, during the day. [Back]
[8] Past Iori doesn't talk in that fake kansai-ben, which means he's a lot fucking easier to understand. Thank god. [Back]