On February 17, 2025, Satsuki had a spiritual awakening which he livetweeted on Paradox Tribe. Since this is intertwined with twitter posts that Iori and Zen made, I've translated it here, with summaries of fan comment responses.
Satsuki - 17:29
Oh shit, this is so bad
Satsuki - 17:29
You guys gotta help me out here
Satsuki - 17:30
The temperature was really nice today, so I took a nap, and now I'm really late for school
Satsuki - 17:30
I really fucked up
Satsuki - 17:31
Do any of you got any good excuses I can use? If you've got one please let me know!
Satsuki - 17:32
Reo, that little shit, didn't even try waking me up, and Hokusai tried calling me, his message said we have some kinda test today, shit
[Fan responses: one fan remarks "just say you were stuck on the john? lol" to which he replies PLEASE BE SERIOUS; one says to say he got lost but he says that it wouldn't work since he obviously knows the area really well]
Satsuki - 17:34
Seriously, can't these trains run any faster!?
[Fan responses: more excuses that he thinks are no good; someone remarks that Zen is going to see his posts and he's like "that is a problem for future me"]
Satsuki - 17:37
Fuck, I forgot to bring my bag. It's so over
[Fan responses: one person suggests he asks Anne for help ("I COULD NEVER ASK SOMETHING SO LAME"), someone suggests he got into a rap battle on the street ("this ain't an RPG!!"), someone says to just play off it with "tee hee I'm so clumsy" ("I could never pull it off"), and a few others]
Satsuki - 17:42
Ah, man, the sunset is so pretty
Satsuki - 17:43
When you think about it, do tests really matter?
Satsuki - 17:43
Like, all the birds flying in the sky don't have to take tests, do they?
Satsuki - 17:44
So why do mankind have to take tests?
Satsuki - 17:45
Deciding the path that someone's life takes with a piece of paper is such horseshit, right?! I wanna be a bird, too.
[Fan responses: "If you become a bird, will you be able to rap anymore?" "I'll figure it out", someone asks what he'd be named if he were a bird ("probably like Jonathan" ???), a few other commiserations)]
Satsuki - 17:49
But I guess if I were gonna be an animal, it'd be cool to be a dragon or a tiger or something
[Fan response: I'm just going to say that Satsuki says he's going to be Mister Worldwide and leave it at that]
Satuski - 17:51
Sorry, teach, but you can't find my dream on the answer key
[Fan responses: People commisserating and encouraging Satsuki's newfound spiritual awakening, "You're going to have to learn to speak english if you want to be Mr. Worldwide"]
Satsuki - 17:54
Ah, fuck, I got so busy replying that I missed my stop!!
Satsuki - 17:55
It's so fucking over
Satsuki - 17:56
Mabye I oughta just go get some gyuudon and go home early today
[Fan responses: "A man walks sullenly into the sunset" "I'm so depressed, man", a few more commiserations/apologies]
Satsuki - 17:58
I've never gotten off at this station before. There's so many unfamiliar faces around here. Life's hard, man
[Fan responses: General commiserations and lamentations]
Satsuki - 18:04
I ain't even gonna be able to order the regular size 'cuz I had to pay extra to get off at the further stop at the train station. I'm really doing the tango with bad luck today
[Fan responses: General commiserations, worries about his budget, and "Zen's gonna kill you lol", and general statements about manliness and owning up and apologizing]
Satsuki - 18:11
!?
Satsuki - 18:11
No freakin' way, Aniki just sent me 500 yen for some reason!
Satsuki - 18:12
Rad!! With this I'm gonna be able to buy a large size gyuudon!
Satsuki - 18:12
Well, Aniki is still Aniki, after all
Satsuki - 18:13
I'm goin' to the restaurant, so hold on just a sec
Satsuki - 18:14
A big man deserves a big portion size, after all!! Ah man! I really worked up an apetite!
Satsuki - 18:15
Today's red ginger is a man's trapezius muscles!!! Don't try this at home, kids!!
Satsuki - 18:16
Whoaa! Here it comes!!! Well, I'm gonna focus on diggin' in, so I'm gonna dip out here!! You guys all oughta get gyuudon, too! See you around!