Battle of Unity - Epilogues

Posted as Twitter articles on February 28th and March 1st, 2026, these are short (text only) epilogues to Battle of Unity for each team. They are presented here in the order that they were posted (following the Battle of Unity battle round order, with losers preceding winners).

Gokuluck: The Post-Encore Return to the Prison

"Mikoshiba-kun, there's something I've been curious about. May I ask you a question?"

Following the end of BoU, the members of GokuLuck returned to the prison. After receiving an outpouring of enthusiastic support from other prisoners who were watching the battle live, the four of them began talking...

Yuto: Well, it turned out the same as the last tourmanent... but, I still feel like we were welcomed very warmly upon our return, weren't we?
Shion: Yes, yes, I feel very warmly welcomed by a bunch of disheveled men in prison. [laughs]
Yuto: You don't have to put it like that! This is all thanks to all of your hard work!
Ryoga: I did it for myself, not to get praised.
Kenta: Yeah but it was super funny seeing Ryoga-chan getting totally swarmed by all those NPC prisoners.
Shion: Yes, Ryoga's a real hit with the men.
Ryoga: Don't make it weird.
Kenta: But seriously, what was with them all lined up in a neat little row like baby ducks, all simping about "we saved a special meal for you, Ryoga-san! Please eat it!"?
Shion: And they actually addressed Inukai with honorific language, too, didn't they?
Yuto: They did indeed! Thanks to GokuLuck's activities, I've managed to earn a bit of respect from the other prisoners as well!
Shion: Just feels kind of weird, if you ask me.
Yuto: Well, regardless, I think it's great if our work has a positive impact.
Ryoga: Shibaken didn't seem that mad about it, either, when everyone was gathering around him.
Kenta: Shut the fuck up. I don't know who you're talking about.
Yuto: Mikoshiba-kun, it's okay to say "I'm happy" when you're feeling happy.
Yuto: I know I've said many times that you should apologize when you do something wrong, but it's also okay to be honest about it when you're happy.
Kenta: ... well, whatever.
Yuto: You don't have to do it right away. You can build up to it.
Shion: I wonder how long that's gonna take him. [laughs] My bet's on 10 years. Ryoga, how about you?
Ryoga: Twenty.
Kenta: Don't fucking bet on me. I'm gonna kick your asses.
Yuto: Everyone, let's calm down...! ... ah, but, Mikoshiba-kun, there's something I've been curious about. May I ask you a question?
Kenta: ... what.
Yuto: Mikoshiba-kun, you told us about your past, but you never mentioned how it was that you avoided getting arrested by the investigation that was after you that day?
Shion: Yeah, that's right. How'd you manage that one?
Kenta: ... I was at cozmez's place.

Ryoga: Seriously?
Shion: So you mean they let you hide out there?
Kenta: ... eh.
Yuto: Is that so...!
Kenta: Well, they didn't find me because the slums are way too much of a maze to try and find anyone in.
Shion: That's fair enough. But I have to ask; what kind of place do the two of them live in?
Kenta: It was a fucking shithole. It was a complete mess and there were shoes all over the entryway. I mean, fuck's sake, least you can do is clean up after yourself.
Ryoga: You're really not one to be talking about cleaning up.
Kenta: My space has just got everything I need exactly where I need it.
Shion: And I assume that "what you need" includes those empty energy drink cans? [laughs]
Kenta: ... uh, y... yeah. Like I said. I've only got what I need.
Yuto: W-well, at any rate, I'm very grateful to the members of cozmez for their help. I'll have to sned them some sweets sometime soon!
Yuto: What would be best...? Yokan... kintsuba... maybe moon cakes? Do you know what they like?
Kenta: Why the hell are all of your options the kind of shit you'd leave as an offering at a Buddhist altar?
Kenta: Point is. It's whatever. Don't worry about it.
Shion: It is true that they don't seem like the type to really care about that kind of thing.
Ryoga: It'd be more polite to give them back a gift on stage.
Yuto: Huh? On stage...?
Ryoga: We should get them back for what just happened by giving them an even harder blow in the next battle we have against them.
Shion: I agree. That's much more our style.
Yuto: Do you really think so...? I see~...
Kenta: This ain't an "I see~" sort of thing, dumbass. Next time we're gonna pay back the debt we owe them. That's a promise.
Shion: I certainly won't deny that they're skilled, but it's nothing that we can't overcome.
Ryoga: Yeah. Next time we'll eat them alive.
Kenta: We're gonna take out those shitty scrubs and all of the heads out in one fell swoop with our next song's AOE blast.
Shion: And here I was thinking the battle was over, but it looks like we're just getting ready for another round.
Ryoga: We ain't got time to rest. The strongest are the ones who keep working on getting bigger while everyone else is sleeping.
Yuto: I agree... so everyone, let's all work hard and continue to have fun and do our best!
Ryoga, Shion, and Kenta: ...
Yuto: Uh, is something wrong...? Did I say the wrong thing...?
Kenta: Nothing pisses me off more than when you say shit like "let's do our best!" like a dipshit.
Yuto: Huh? H-huh?
Shion: Inukai, you're doing it again.
Yuto: W-w-wait! What do you mean by that!?
Kenta: Go think about it in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, shitty-ass prison guard.

cozmez: Sharing Ice Cream and Dreams

"Isn't it weird for you to talk about our past to someone else, Kanata?"

Kanata and Nayuta go out to the convenience store to buy some ice cream. On the way, they were approached by a child from the slums...

Nayuta: I mean, honestly, that kind of scared me for a second.
Kanata: Right?
Nayuta: That kid just ran up to you out of nowhere and was going off about "my dream is to become a rapper like cozmez, too".
Kanata: I mean it's like, if that's what he wants to do then be my guest.
Nayuta: He really must have admired us.
Nayuta: But I guess that kind of thing's been happening more and more lately.
Kanata: Well, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
Nayuta: It's probably fine. I think it's alright for kids from the slums to have dreams like that.
Kanata: But I never wanted to be like some kind of hoodstar or whatever.
Nayuta: Knew you were gonna say that. We've only ever done it to try and rise up out of where we were.
Kanata: Back then we couldn't even go on convenience store runs like this.
Nayuta: Sure couldn't. Can't help but wonder what the hell we'd even be doing right now, if we hadn't started doing phantom lives.
Kanata: Dunno. We'd probably still be homeless or something.
Nayuta: Hah, yeah, maybe. So if you think about it, us doing phantom lives really was for the best.
Kanata: Now instead of being constantly bombarded with insults and attacks, we're constantly in the spotlight. That's all because of phantom lives.
Nayuta: Yup. Speaking of phantom lives... what's-his-guts was pretty good at them, despite everything.
Kanata: Who?
Nayuta: You know, what's-his-guts. The guy from GokuLuck.
Kanata: Ah... the hell was his name...? Ah, yeah. It was Mikoshiba.

Nayuta: Yeah, him. He really seemed down in the dumps when he was over at our place, but he really cut loose with it on stage, didn't he?
Kanata: If you say so.
Nayuta: Don't you think it's because you encouraged him that he got really pumped up, Kanata?
Kanata: It's not like I was trying to do that. He sorted his shit out on his own.
Nayuta: We'll leave it at that, then. But isn't it weird for you to talk about our past to someone else, Kanata?
Kanata: That's... well, I mean, when I heard that he had a shitty time back when he was a kid...
Nayuta: It's different from what we went through, but I kinda get it, too.
Kanata: Yeah.
Kanata: I mean, everyone's got their own shit they've got to deal with, right? But it's not like rolling over and giving up is going to do anything about it.
Nayuta: For real. In the end, you've gotta be the one who picks your own self up.
Kanata: But I don't think I said anything that was totally out of character for me...
Nayuta: Actually, now that I think about it, why is it that you keep giving advice to the people we go up against in battles?
Kanata: ... shuddup.
Nayuta: But the battle itself was pretty exciting. Their skills had levelled up a lot since the last time we went up against each other.
Kanata: Yeah. The crowd got really into it.
Nayuta: And those dudes in VISTY have gotten a lot better at putting on a show, too, so we've gotta keep upping our game as well.
Kanata: What's the point in even saying that? That's a given.
Nayuta: Ahaha, that's true.
Kanata: We've come this far together ever since back when we were kids. Let's keep going all out until all our dreams come true.
Nayuta: Yeah. Let's show 'em what we've managed to become since crawling our way out of hell.
Nayuta: By the way, Kanata, what kind of ice cream were you thinking about buying today?
Kanata: Ah... probably just the regular soda flavor?
Nayuta: For real? I wanted the soda flavor too! So let's get this one, the one with two sticks that you can split in half.
Kanata: Fine by me.
Nayuta: So let's buy three of them.
Kanata: Huh? What do we need three for?
Nayuta: So we have one to share together, and then one that we can eat without having to split it in half.
Nayuta: I always had this wild dream of being able to eat an entire ice cream without having to split it. But I still want to share one with you, Kanata, so we'll also get one to share, too.
Kanata: Hah, that's your reasoning?
Kanata: Well, then, let's buy them. We'll make another dream come true today.

AMPRULE: Bocchama and Cats

"This is not about becoming friends; this is a business transaction."

Dongha and Chungsung go to a cat café in order to earn the favor of the cats. However, it seems that their attempts to interact with the cats are not going as well as they had hoped for...

Cat 1: Mrrrow.
Dongha: ...
Cat 2: Mrraoow.
Dongha: ...
Cat 3: Mewmewmiaoo.
Dongha: ... tch!
Dongha: Oi, Chungsung! What's the matter with these things!? None of them will come near me!!
Chungsung: Bocchama. If you raise your voice like that, then--
Cat 4: HISSSSS!
Dongha: Gck---! What a touchy creature that thing is...!
Chungsung: It is quite strange, is it not? "The cats at cat cafés are very used to people, and are quite easy to handle as a result"... so we heard, and as such we rented out the largest such establishment in Japan, said to be happy home to 100 cats.
Dongha: To think we were fooled by such an obvious exaggerated hoax... not a single one will approach me.
Chungsung: Perhaps it is rather that they are intimidated by your forceful and commanding spirit, bocchama.
Dongha: What do you mean by that?
Chungsung: Though now they are domesticated pets, their ancestors were wild animals. It is quite possible that their wild instincts lead to them possessin an intuitive fear and respect of you.
Dongha: Hmph... thouh I thought they were simply vapidly cute creatures, it seems that they still have the instinct to gauge the capacity of those around them.
Chungsung: Furthermore, we also possess a secret weapon ready for your deployment: "kitty treats". Would you like to use them?
Dongha: No need. There is no point in attempting to bait them with something like that. The cats must bow their head to me of their own volition.
Dongha: And furthermore, that Black-Spotted Demon King DX could not be controlled by mere treats.
Chungsung: Hehe... he truly was quite the free-spirited cat.
Chungsung: However, the sight of Bocchama playing with Kurobuchi-sama with one of his toys-- that was truly a feast for the eyes to behold.
Dongha: ...
Chungsung: On that note, bocchama, there is something to say regarding the matter that we brought forth to Saimon-sama and Kobayashi-sama...
Dongha: .... You mean the matter of if they would become collaborators to our cause? What was their response?
Chungsung: Of course, they have agreed to participate. However, Kanbayashi-sama still seems to consider us suspect.
Dongha: That is fine. This is not about becoming friends; this is a business transaction.
Dongha: Considering that Natsume Ryu is a member of their number, there is no amount of explanation we can provide that will cause them to fully trust us.
Chungsung: ... that certainly is the case, yes.
Dongha: At any rate, since we have obtained their cooperation, we will of course provide them with a generous reward.
Dongha: Instruct all of the research staff to employ the utmost in courtesy. Let no harm befall Saimon Naoakira nor Kanbayashi Yohei.
Chungsung: As you wish. I, your humble Baek Chungsung, will work tirelessly to manifest your will as well.
Dongha: Naturally. You will be my hands and my feet; I will work you like a workhorse.
Chungsung: Ah. Most willingly.
Dongha: ... what a waste of time this has been. I'm going home.
Chungsung: Are you quite sure?
Dongha: Don't make me repeat myself. I've already wasted enough of my time, I don't have the free time to sit around and try to deal with a stubborn ca--
Cat 5: Meooow!
Dongha: !?
Chungsung: Oh, my. It seems that quite the adorable calico cat is heading straight towards your feet, bocchama...
Cat 5: Meow~! ♪
Chungsung: ... or so it seemed, but it seems as though it has bypassed bocchama entirely and instead come over to me.
Dongha: Ghh--! You bastard, how dare you ignore your master's will to play with some cat...!
Chungsung: Ah, Bocchama, in all likelihood this is simply--
Dongha: I don't want to hear any excuses!! Chungsung, brace yourself! I will be punishing you the very instant we get home!!
Chungsung: [thinking] I must assume that the cat came over to me simply because I still have the cat treats in my pocket...
Chungsung: [thinking]

Chungsung: Yes, of course, bocchama, by all means! Please torture this humble fool that stands before you until you are satisfied...!

The Cat's Whiskers: A Lively Prescription

"... hey, Saimon. Is everything going okay with that?"

A mountain of cardboard boxes arrives for TCW from Dongha of AMPRULE. Among those surprise gifts were...

Ryu: Uwhoa! Looky, looky, Shikki! There's some huuuuge cardboard boxes!
Shiki: There are five cardboard boxes, each bigger than my entire body...? And it says the sender is... "Yeon Dongha".
Yohei: Sure hope that little shit didn't buy up everything in a goddamn store and send it to us.
Saimon: Haha. It's very thoughtful of him. I suppose it's his way of saying thank you for us letting him play with Kurobuchi the other day.
Ryu: Now, let us begin the unboxing ceremony with Ryu-kun~ ✰ Crunchy crunchy! Rippy rippy!
Shiki: A-ah, Ryu-kun, you've to open it a little more carefully...!
Ryu: Here it is! A luxury kitty tower, plush cushions, and... a super high-class-looking scratching post! Truly, a set of offerings worthy of royalty!!
Saimon: Those two certainly seem like they're having fun, don't they?
Yohei: ... hey, Saimon. Is everything going okay with that?
Saimon: "That"?
Yohei: Don't play stupid. I mean that experimental drug stuff. Seems like it's not hitting you too badly, but...
Saimon: Ah, yes, that. It's not a dramatic improvement or anything, but I am having more good days than I was.
Yohei: That so. So you mean you're not suddenly getting lightheaded like you were before?
Saimon: Well, not nearly as much as I was. It still comes in waves, but I do feel much lighter than I did.
Yohei: ... I see. Guess that rich little brat wasn't just all empty talk after all.
Saimon: Yes, he was quite serious. When he said that this would be a mutually benefitial arrangement, he truly did follow through on it.
Yohei: Well, he abided by the contract. Good job there.
Saimon: I'm sorry for making you worry.
Yohei: ... we got into this knowing what the risks were gonna be... but to be honest, it's all still a pretty risky gamble, no doubt about that.
Saimon: If the data I can provide is of use, then it may be able to help reduce the number of people who suffer from metal use in the future.
Saimon: We should never have to let anyone else ever go through the pain of losing a loved one.
Yohei: ... yeah, true enough. But it ain't enough to just be doing good for the world and other people, y'know.
Saimon: ?
Yohei: I ain't gonna let you act like you've forgotten about our dream. If not for you, none of them would ever have come true. And...
Yohei: Shiki's one thing, but you can't leave me alone to deal with Ryu on my own. You're the one who picked him up.
Saimon: Hahah... that's cold.
Yohei: I'm gonna make sure you take responsibility for bringing us here to the very end, mark my words.
Saimon: Thank you. I'll do my best.
Ryu: Hm hm hm!! Ryu-kun has discovered an incredible ultimate weapon down at the bottom of the box! BOSS! MASTER! TO ME, AT ONCE!
Saimon: What's the matter? What's got you in such a frenzy?
Ryu: It's a tremendous present from Little Mister Mushroom to Kurobuchi!
Shiki: This is... a fruit hat...? I kind of have to wonder if he'll hate it...?
Ryu: This is the magical item that lets Kurobuchicchi turn into the King of the Tropics! Aaaand TRANSFORM! Ptchaow! ✰
Shiki: Oh, wow, that's so cute...! Kurobuchi... doesn't seem to hate it?
Saimon: It's quite a cute look for the King of the Tropics.
Yohei: What the hell is that supposed to be? A pineapple??
Ryu: Uh-oh! Kurobuchicchi, charge attack at Master!

Yohei: Oi, get away from me! It's dangerous for you to be getting underfoot!
Saimon: Could it be that Kuro wants you to pick him up, Yohei?
Yohei: Tch... goddammit, you're not gonna give me a choice. C'mon, just stop being a pain.
Ryu: Whoa! It looks like Kurobuchhichi is wriggling out!
Yohei: The hell you mean, "wriggli--" -- whoa!?
Shiki: Ah--!? Master! Move your face away, the pineapple leaves are...!
Yohei: Goddammit! Hey, stop moving around! You're hitting me right in the nose!
Saimon: Ahaha, it's quite the harsh blessing, isn't it? Perhaps this can be our new invigorating "Tropical Punch".
Yohei: Don't go off making new cocktails without permission. Stop laughing and get rid of this hat!
Ryu: Now! Say "cheese"! ✰
Yohei: Ryu, you got some REAL fuckin' nads!
Ryu: Waaah! Save me, Boss! The Pineapple Monster is angryyy!
Shiki: Master, I'll take care of Kurobuchi... okay, come here, Kurobuchi...
Yohei: Seriously, every last one of you...
Saimon: Ahaha...
Yohei: Don't you dare laugh.
Saimon: I think this sort of liveliness is what works the best for me, more than any prescription any doctor could write.