Trauma Button A Paradox Live Fansite
REVOLUTION - Part cozmez

[sfx: passing train]

[sfx: thermometer beeping]
Kanata: What's the temperature?
Nayuta: Hmm... [sigh] 37.7 degrees.
Kanata: Knew it. You have a fever.
Nayuta: Hardly. It's not a big deal. Anyway, who are you calling?
[sfx: phone tapping]
Kanata: We were supposed to make that guest appearance tomorrow. They've got other guessts, so I'm gonna cancel.
Nayuta: It's not worth the effort. I just need to sleep it off and I'll be fine.
Kanata: Hm...
Nayuta: I'm just a bit tired. This is just what it's like with me.
Kanata: But... ... that doesn't mean you're operating at 100%, you know? You might go back to how you were before the experiment stuff. If that happens again...
Nayuta: Nah. We're going to go on that show tomorrow like we planned to. I don't want to cause problems or anything. Besides that, they're expecting us.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: What.
Kanata: Nayuta... you've been pushing yourself too hard lately.
Nayuta: Hah? What do you mean?
Kanata: Even when we're performing on some dinky little stage, you're really putting the pedal to the metal whenever you're on stage.
Nayuta: ...
Kanata: You really want our music to reach more and more people. I get that. But don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?
Nayuta: ... what else am I supposed to do? The Paradox Live finals are coming up. If we let our guard down, there's no way we'll win.
Kanata: Nayuta...
Nayuta: Those GokuLuck guys have a lot of momentum. And we can finally go head to head for real with BAE. You've been waiting for this, too, right, Kanata?
Kanata: I mean, yeah...
Nayuta: As I thought. We've still got one more fight before we take the top, so we don't have time to be stressing about dumb shit, right?
Kanata: ... right. But I'm still cancelling tomorrow. You need to focus on your health, Nayuta.
Nayuta: Hold up!
Kanata: Huh?
Nayuta: Don't just go and make decisions on my behalf! That really pisses me off.
Kanata: ... the hell's up with that?
Nayuta: I told you. I feel fine.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: And besides, are you planning to flip out and cancel every time I get a little fever?
Kanata: I'm not--
Nayuta: What if I got one before the final? Would you just drop out?
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: CLUB Paradox isn't like other venues. If we don't go all out, we won't have chance in hell.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: I'm not going to let us just half-ass it. It's going to be a lot of work, and it's going to take a toll on us. Especially the trap reactions.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: Answer me, Kanata. If something were to happen to me, would you keep going into the finals, or would you just quit?
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: Answer me!
Kanata: I'd... ... quit.
Nayuta: ... don't you dare...
Kanata: --?
Nayuta: Don't you fucking dare say that!!
[sfx: Nayuta punching Kanata, getting in his face]
Kanata: Nnn-gh! Nayu--!
Nayuta: I'm never going to forgive you if you pull something like that!!
Kanata: Hgh--gnah! It's not a matter of if you're going to forgive me or not!
Nayuta: I already told you! I'm fine! But you're always freaking the fuck out that I'm going to start having problems with the metal again!
Kanata: Ngh--! Of course I'm worried!!
Nayuta: "Of course"? Oh, I get it now! Because I've always just been your pitiful little brother who needs you to protect him all the time, right!?
Kanata: That's not what I said!!
Nayuta: You may as well have!!
[sfx: Nayuta letting go of Kanata, roughly]
Nayuta: You're talking about dropping out because you're worried about my health!? Are you really going to give up on our dream because of some dumb shit like that!?
Kanata: --!
Nayuta: cozmez is-- Music is our life! Hiphop is what's kept us alive this long! Without it, we're nothing, we're as good as dead, it's the only dream we've ever had! And you're willing to just throw it away that easily!? Is that all it's worth to you, Kanata!?
Kanata: That's wron--
Nayuta: You're going to tell me I'm wrong!? I value it more than my own life, and I put every single thing I have into every single moment that I'm on stage with you! And you--
[sfx: punch]
Kanata: Hgck--!
Nayuta: ... why? Why... [choking up] Why are you fucking around?
[sfx: both heavy breathing]
Nayuta: Why. Why won't you fight back? ... what kind of big brother are you?
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: Is that how you're going to try and protect me? You think that's going to fly forever? Because it's not.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: I'm... not your pitiful little brother.
Kanata: Nayuta--!
Nayuta: I'm gonna go cool my head.
[sfx: footsteps, door opening and closing]
Kanata: ... he really hit me as hard as he could. I can taste blood.
[sfx: train passing]

[sfx: thump]
Kanata: If that's the case... what am I supposed to do, then? I wasn't able to do anything for him back then. Nayuta was suffering alone. He jumped off that roof without saying a word to me. ... .. and. it's my own fault. Nayuta wasn't really afraid of being swallowed up by the metal. It was because I wouldn't be able to handle it, if he started deteriorating in front of my eyes. ... I'm sure that's why he didn't say anything. To protect me. ... "protect him all the time"... what kind of shit is that? The only reason I'm even alive now is because of Nayuta. Whenever adults abused us, when we were hungry and cold, covered in bruises... even then, Nayuta was always there. I'm the one who's been protected this entire time. So why can't he at least let me act like the big brother once in a while... how lame would I be otherwise? ... [sigh] Ah man, the room's a disaster area. Everything's a total mess. ... huh? What's up with this shabby old box?
[sfx: metal box opening]
Kanata: ... huh? This is... Nayuta's treasure chest. I haven't seen this thing in ages. I can't believe he hasn't gotten rid of it.
[sfx: something shaking around at the bottom of the box]
Kanata: Huh? There's something in there. ... ah, that's right. Back when we were kids he used to save all the marbles and colored rocks he picked up. It was just a lot of trash, but they were still pretty.
[sfx: thunk]
Kanata: Huh? USBs? Those aren't rocks.
[sfx: USB sticks being shuffled around]
Kanata: There's a lot here. They're all numbered. ... alright.
[sfx: computer starting up]
Kanata: I guess I'll take a look at the first one.
[sfx: clicking]
Kanata: H-- this is--!?
[sfx: clicking more]
Kanata: The first song I ever made?


[flashback begins]
[music: backing track for Two Crowns]
[sfx: click]
Kanata: Well? I was kinda just making it up as I went along, but...
Nayuta: No way! That's so cool, Kanata!
Kanata: Eh?
Nayuta: No, for real!
Kanata: You think so?
Nayuta: Don't be a dumbass. What do you mean you don't get it? You're the one who made it. It's a hell of a lot better than anything I've heard anyone doing around here. Like, it's in a league of its own!
Kanata: ...!
Nayuta: You're like a genius, Kanata! How'd you manage to make such a cool sound?
Kanata: What do you mean how'd I do it? I didn't do anything special. I just tried to make something, and ended up stumbling into this... I guess.
Nayuta: Let's get some rap down over it quickly! For real, this could work!
Kanata: You think?
Nayuta: Yeah! Believe what I'm telling you.
Kanata: For real?
Nayuta: For real-for real. For really real!
Kanata: Ah...
Kanata and Nayuta: [start laughing]
[flashback ends]


Kanata: That's right. Nayuta was always...
[sfx: rustling through a box of USBs]
Kanata: Are all of these our beats, then? When did he do this? ... ... Nayuta!
[sfx: Kanata getting to his feet, running out the door]


Kanata: [catching his breath] Here you are.
Nayuta: ...
Kanata: I found you. But what're you doing up on this rooftop?
Nayuta: ... what do you want?
Kanata: I found this.
Nayuta: ... mm. This is...
Kanata: Your treasure chest. I looked inside it.
Nayuta: ...
Kanata: Hey. All of this stuff...
Nayuta: Mm. It's the files for all the music we've made so far. I kept all the half-decent ones and all the ones that we gave up on too.
Kanata: Why?
Nayuta: Eh? Because it's all important. ... You're way too flippant about this stuff, Kanata. You always just toss aside the music you don't end up using and don't do anything with it.
Kanata: Is that a bad thing?
Nayuta: ... I wanted to keep it. It's... proof I was alive.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: So that even if I died, I would still be alive in that music. So that if you found it one day, you'd know you weren't alone. It's my treasure. If I have that, I know it'll be okay. So I can go without regrets. That's what I think.
[sfx: wind]
Kanata: ... Nayu--
Nayuta: When I jumped off of here, and ended up in the hospital, do you know what I was thinking?
Kanata: ... no.
Nayuta: "I'm the worst." When I woke up, I could open my eyes but I couldn't move my body at all. I couldn't do anything but be Alter Trigger's guinea pig. The only thing I could see was the ceiling of the hospital room. I couldn't see the sky, or the stars. I could only think about what I had done.
Kanata: Nayuta...
Nayuta: And you didn't know that I was alive, did you, Kanata? You didn't know anything. You were left all alone without any explanation. ... and I'm the one who did that to you.
Kanata: --!
Nayuta I didn't want you to have to watch me waste away. That would have broken you completely... is what I thought. I really did. But I was wrong. You've been the one to protect me ever since we were little. I was underestimating how strong you are. I didn't believe in you enough.
Kanata: ...
Nayuta: So I told myself that it was for your sake that I was running away. But I was the one who was afraid, of you being broken. I was the one who didn't want to see it happen. I'm the one who's weak. So I did something terrible to Shiki instead, even though I knew how much it would hurt him. I did the worst thing I could have possibly done.
Kanata: Nayuta, that's enou--
Nayuta: Let me say what I want to say! I don't know if I'm going to be able to say this any other time. But I've wanted to tell you for so long. Whenever you look at me with that worried look on your face, I can't stand it, because I know you're thinking about that day again. ... I kept wishing, stuck in my body that wouldn't move, that if god even existed... if he could grant me just one wish... if he could let me sing with Kanata. [laugh] And it's funny. Since I've known since we were little that there's no such thing as god. But then it was like a miracle happened. cozmez's sound, and Kanata crying out to me... they saved me. Because even though you were alone, you hadn't given up. You kept fighting for our dream in the Paradox Live.
Kanata: Ah...
Nayuta: So... you can't give up.
Kanata: Nayuta...
Nayuta: We're going to take the top in phantom lives. Because even when we were cold and when we were starving, we were able to survive because we knew there was something shining in the distance for us. So I want to see that view from the top together, Kanata! I realized that couldn't take back what I'd done. But I finally know what I want. I know I won't be able to do this forever. But that's why it's important to do it now. Every single moment that I get to sing on stage is... it's my treasure. It's the reason I'm alive. [choking up] So that's why you can't give up for my sake! You don't have to worry about my body. [sniff] I already died once. I know my limits now. Kanata. I'm going to get stronger. I'll be strong, and this time, I'll be the one to protect you. I won't let you be the only one suffering. Whatever tries to hit us next, we'll face it together. We'll share all the pain, all the suffering, and then this time, I'm going to take you with me to the top! I want to see what you saw there, with my own eyes, with my own body, and I want to do it together! ... I'm not going to pretend I'm not scared. It might all come to an end one day. But there's no point in being alive if you're going to give up on your dreams just because they might end. ... I know I'm being selfish, but... Kanata, I want to see it together. I want to go as far as we can, just the two of us. And then... I'm sure... [crying]
Kanata: ... don't cry, Nayuta.
Nayuta: [crying] Come on, I'm not... crying. Not really. [sniff] So, what are you going to do?
Kanata: I don't think I have to answer that. ... From now on, this box is our treasure chest.
Nayuta: ... yeah.
Kanata: And if it overflows, we'll just buy another box. We'll keep all of it. It's proof we were alive.
Nayuta: ... Kanata.
[sfx: wind]
Kanata: It's cold here. Let's go back inside.
Nayuta: [sniff] Yeah.
Kanata: Ah, speaking of. How's your fever?
Nayuta: Hm? It's gone, I think.
Kanata: Is it? ... even so, you should still tell me if it ever gets bad for real.
Nayuta: Yeah. Got it. ... I'm hungry.
Kanata: [chuckling] What's with that out of nowhere?
Nayuta: [chuckling]
Kanata: Then let's get something to eat on the way home. You want anything in particular?
Nayuta: I want gyoza from Raimentei!
Kanata: Are you sure it's a good idea?
Nayuta: It's fine. I'll just get extra garlic.
Kanata: Even though we've got a show tomorrow?
Nayuta: Why would that matter?
Kanata: You might still reek of garlic.
Nayuta: It'll be fine~.
Kanata: And what else do you want?
Nayuta: Hm...
Kanata: Gomoku yakisoba[1]
Nayuta: [simultaneously] Chuukadon.
Kanata: ... so the same thing we always get, then?
Nayuta: If it ain't broke. And if we split it, then we both can eat two different kinds of food.
Kanata: Right?
Nayuta: And today is going to be the day we heat up the quail's eggs without blowing them up.
Kanata: Is that why you want to get chuukadon?
Nayuta: No.
[sfx: footsteps]


[sfx: footsteps]
Kanata: Alright. Got our food, so let's head back quick.
Nayuta: Hey, Kanata.
Kanata: Hm?
Nayuta: You remember I told you once that I was happy just to be able to stand on stage with you?
Kanata: Yeah.
Nayuta: But that's not entirely true. I'm not going to be satisfied with just that. I want to go all the way to the top. Kanata.
Kanata: Ah ... yeah. Let's go there together, Nayuta. We'll see the view from the top.
Nayuta: I won't forgive anyone who gets in our way.
Kanata: We'll show them all hell. As long as we're together...
Kanata and Nayuta: We're unbeatable.
[sfx: fistbump]

[1] I actually cannot for the life of me make out what dish Kanata is saying here, but I'm making an assumption based on context and the fact that gomoku yakisoba and chuukadon has been their order in the past. This is not the most important detail so I'm not too pressed about guessing, lol.

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